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February 2008

Valentine hints to nurture relationships with older adults

by Lori Williamson
Director, Adult Day Services

Last Valentine's Day I could be found savoring a juicy cheeseburger and fries at a trendy burger eatery. My date for this special occasion chose the venue and I drove. As we lingered over our burgers and cokes, we resembled many other couples on this day of hearts…her eyes were misty, she wore a smile from ear to ear, and she was obviously thrilled to be treated to an evening "out". What distinguished us from the other couples, however, was the fact she was an older lady friend and 40 years my senior. We weren't there just for the food. The meal was a façade. The evening was all about reminiscing, or more precisely, about Sylvia and her late husband, Isadore. You see, this was Sylvia's first Valentine's Day without her beloved husband of forty plus years. With a heart chockfull of memories, Sylvia longed to recall the years she spent with her sweetheart. All she needed was an ear to bend. In turn, I became richer for listening.

Love, affection, and time are precious commodities. Imagine how wonderful it would be if we could share these more plentifully with the older adults in our midst, and in turn boost their emotional health! A great deal of research substantiates the correlation between life satisfaction and significant relationships. Not surprisingly, affection, human touch, and friendships play an important role in augmenting the quality of life during the aging process. As we embark on a month traditionally labeled for love, why not choose an older family member, friend, or neighbor to pamper and spoil? Here are four tips for creating memorable moments neither of you will soon forget!

Design a Personalized Word Search Puzzle
Using words which have personal meaning for you and/or the recipient, create a memorable word search for your favorite Valentine! These are not only fun, but they are terrific for enhancing mental fitness. For a free formatted template, go to www.genuineclass.com/games (Click on "Create Your Own Word Search") Embellished with foil hearts, these puzzles are snazzy tucked into a valentine with a colorful gel pen!

Plan a Trip Down Memory Lane
Keeping in mind your special someone's roots, travels, or fantasy destinations, assemble maps, tour books, newspapers, magazines, or other memorabilia which would enable an older adult to "visit" those places near and dear to them without ever leaving home. Mark significant locations on the maps by using sticker hearts. You can add to the ambiance by presenting these treasures in a miniature trunk or suitcase! Members of AAA Auto Club can visit www.aaa.com to receive information on receiving maps and tour books free of charge.

Special Delivery: "Tokens of the Heart"
Distance doesn't have to be a barrier in sharing a special relationship with an older adult! In fact, most older adults have learned to rely upon the delivery of postal mail, eagerly anticipating the arrival of their mail carrier each day. When miles separate you from your loved one, consider gathering several small tokens of your affection and wrapping them individually in red or pink paper. Label them with dates to be opened in a 'countdown' fashion, culminating with a special surprise on Valentine's Day! You may find it helpful to write a simple note to be tucked inside the box explaining your intentions. No one can resist the anticipation and excitement generated by receiving a week (or more!) of surprises. Treasures may include: photos of family members displayed in tiny frames, handmade Valentines crafted by little ones, a love note detailing a special memory you hold of the recipient, small jars of chocolate kisses, or a tin of homemade cookies. Be sure to pack all your treasures in a sturdy Priority Mail box (provided free by the USPS), stuff with mounds of pink tissue paper, and sprinkle generously with heart confetti!

Encourage An Older Adult to Publish A Book About Their Life Experiences
With a little help from www.iuniverse.com, publishing a book is now within reach for those who wish to share their life stories with others. Family history, military service, hobbies, and travel adventures are all possible topics for novice writers to capture their thoughts forever in print. Offering to help navigate the publishing process would be a priceless gift!

For more information on volunteering and enhancing the lives of older adults, please contact: Lori Williamson, Director of Adult Day Services at Christian Living Communities. Ms. Williamson can be reached at: 720.974.3575 or e-mail: lwilliamson@clcmail.org.